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By: Jehangir Saleh
Written: April 15, 2003
Alas, summer has arrived, and with it those soon to be memorable symptoms of knotted stomach, feeling queasy and really bad heartburn. Someone has seized your heart and you’re in love (again). Not to worry, take the following steps that lead to the perfect love letter and lure the object of your affection.
1) Avoid the temptation to declare your immediate and undying affection. If the urge is too overwhelming, then temporarily ignore this article, write a gushy love letter and send it to your cat. Once your feline is aware of your affection, it’s now time to try it with another human being.
2) Find a focus. It’s easy to begin writing and get carried away pouring emotion and random thoughts on the page. You and your reader will be stumbling through words, potentially eliminating chances at further relationship development. This is not good. Instead try focusing on something you can both relate to.
3) Take hold of a moment! Try referring to a memorable pausing of time that you both shared (or at least you think that you both shared….) Perhaps it’s the first time you met, and you warmly recall the way her eyes sparkled when you spilled your orange soda on her white dress. Perhaps you remember her warm smile when you apologized. Perhaps this would be a good time to make an apology. Writing about a special moment is something you can both relate to, and it might spark or deepen their interest.
4) Lay some common ground. Maybe they told you that they despise rap music. And after going home and thinking about it, you have decided that you despise rap music too. Write about your shared hatred for rap music, or anything else for that matter. You’ve now established something you can both relate to.
5) Throw your personality into it! Not everyone is a hopeless romantic that compares life to a darkly fragrant mountain and stands on its peak reciting Shakespeare and Byron while the wind whispers sweet nothings to chipmunks who frolic in meadows embraced with tulips and sweet grass. Your letter is a reflection of you and your feelings. And although it may seem to be the easiest way out, I strongly caution against using the internet to piece your letter together. Be clever, be
witty, bottom line: be yourself.
Once you’re finished writing your love infused letter, seal it carefully and place it in a spot where the object of your affection will just happen to stumble upon it. And don’t feel bad if this one doesn’t work out. Remember, the summer breeze is full of love and next week someone else will be giving you heartburn. So grab some ant-acid and get writing!